Silly lists are silly

Success!  Orange juice + twist of lime + club soda = tart, only-slightly-sweet soda that is very refreshing (and pretty in a big wine glass.)  (My friend hates the flavor, says it would be better with ginger ale.  I say he’s Completely Missing the Point.)

I wanted to do a thoughtful blog post, but I’ve posted thoughtful comments on a lot of other blogs today, and I’m tapped out.  Instead I’m gonna be silly. 

So I was looking at various baby products, and it occurred to me that if I owned these, they would almost certainly not be used for their proper purpose.  So I made a list: intended use vs. predicted use 🙂

Baby Monitor

  • intended use: listen to make sure baby doesn’t make any weird noises during the night
  • predicted use: let me hear when the oven beeps when I’m in the back room

Baby Gate

  • intended use: keep baby from getting out of safe, baby-proofed areas
  • predicted use: give cats exercise, develop new and interesting callouses on my knees

Mobile

  • intended use: dangly shiny things to entertain baby
  • predicted use: cat toy

Baby Kneepads (cuz apparently that’s a thing?)

  • intended use: keep baby’s cute widdle knees away from the cold hard floor
  • predicted use: get two pairs.  Place on knees and hands.  Place baby on tile or wood floor.  Hilarity ensues.

Star Projector with Classical Music

  • intended use: soothe baby to sleep with gentle lights and music
  • predicted use: soothe Mommy to sleep with gentle lights and music.  (Alternately, reprogram music.  Use for parties.)

[Insert pretty much any baby toy here]

  • intended use: baby toy
  • predicted use: cat toy

Cats

  • intended use: mildly apathetic companions, who grace us with their presence and aesthetic appeal, and occasionally deign to give warmth, purrs, and snuggles
  • predicted use: baby toy (and learning opportunity)

So yeah, I probably shouldn’t be allowed baby items.

I’m also getting kinda silly this season – I just can’t help thinking that a year from now, it’ll be rice-baby’s first Christmas!  Also I get to sing Christmas carols now.  I don’t know what it is, I’m not even Christian, but damn I love carols – especially the religious ones.  “O Holy Night” is about as religious as they come, and I can NOT sing it without getting teary-eyed.  Possibly because of the lyrics on the oft-ignored but beautiful last verse, and possibly because the melody is so potentially emotional, but I just love it.  (I feel the same way about “I Heard The Bells on Christmas Day” – the one with the minor melody [there’s, like… 3 melodies that I know of for the exact same song] – possibly, again, because of the message in the lyrics, which is beautiful regardless of religion.)

In related news, I have the most beautiful Christmas tree ever!  And it’s lasted almost a full week so far without the cats destroying it!

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