CN: Fat shaming, slut shaming
Take a moment.
Let it sink in.
That is an awesome dress. I mean, that is an awesome, awesome dress. It was created (and modeled) by a woman named Sasha Trabane, who is so much cooler than me for a) even imagining such a thing, and b) actually being able to make it happen. A TARDIS princess dress with a pull-away panel to show that it’s bigger on the inside? If I met her at a con, I would want to give her a hug. If she were mass-producing these??
I especially like it because this style of dress is one that is very flattering to larger women, like me. There’s a common, incorrect belief that the only “attractive” clothing is that which is skintight and revealing, cut and shaped to highlight the tiny waist, toned thighs, and pert butt that women like me don’t have. This dress not only displays Sasha’s wonderfully geeky nature and creative talents, it’s also a firm reminder that women of our size also like to (and are perfectly capable of) looking beautiful and being a (TARDIS) princess for a day.
I think it’s also really refreshing that the male geek community recognized this and was supportive, noting how awesome she looked in this dress, the skill and effort she must have put into it, and what an amazing tribute to the show it was.
…HAHAHAno, I’m just kidding, of course that’s not what happened. This is what happened instead:
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:
I’m not actually sure which infuriates me the most – the fact that this gorgeous woman is being mocked, belittled, and told she’s unattractive because she’s bigger than the standard acceptable size for women age 18-35? Or the fact that all of her creativity, her effort, the enormous talent she displayed, and her obvious dedication to a fandom she loves is all ignored in favor of “hur hur, she’s fat!”?
…How about both? I think I’m gonna go with both.
Those of you who’ve read this blog for a while (all two of you) may recall a previous post wherein I said this:
Because Asshat McGee doesn’t care how many hours we spent painstakingly combing thrift stores, sewing a costume, gluing feathers to a hat, creating elaborate props out of basically fluff and nothing. He doesn’t care that this is one of the very few occasions where we can take our creations out and show them off and actually enjoy them in public. He doesn’t care that we’re having fun and revelling in geek culture. In his mind, we are there to titillate and satisfy male geeks, and if we fail in either of those directives, we are terrible human beings.
Because it is ALL ABOUT HIM.
And the thing is, we can’t win! If you are, like me, NOT skinny with big boobs, COVER YOURSELF UP NOBODY WANTS TO LOOK AT YOU WHY ARE YOU EVEN OUT OF DOORS?? If by some magic of the gene pool you ARE skinny with big boobs… well, he MIGHT allow you to consider yourself hot (though probably not, since he wants to keep you in your place), but if you’re hot, then you better be ready to reward those hordes of slavering geek boys with the sex they so richly deserve, otherwise you’re just an attention-whoring cocktease. But wait! What if you ARE hot, you DO dress revealingly, and you actually DO end up having sex with a guy (or even – GASP! – more than one) at a con? Well then, you’re just a slutty slutty slut, Queen of Slutsville, now aren’t you?
This right here? This is more of the same. The fat-shaming of Sasha and the slut-shaming of “con whores” is all part and parcel of the same nasty bundle of misogyny. It’s all a way of telling women that we don’t belong in their world (even though, I do not hesitate to point out, it is also our world.)
One of the commenters asked why we couldn’t have a “sexy” TARDIS dress. Well, I’m sure you can find one, though I doubt it would have, y’know, room to display all the ingenuity and attention to detail that this one did. But if a conventionally-attractive woman posted a picture of herself in a sexy slinky TARDIS dress instead, I guaran-fuckin’-tee that someone would have accused her of just teasing geek boys because she’s desperate for attention.
Because in the end, ladies, it doesn’t matter what you do or what you look like. You’re a woman doing something that makes you happy, and you’re not asking anyone’s permission to do it. And there are people out there who just can’t stand that.