Ok, so I kinda don’t want to work at my job anymore.
I still like the company. They’ve treated me well and the culture and atmosphere is awesome. I like my boss – he’s fun, he’s funny, and he’s dedicated to helping us out.
I just don’t like the work.
It’s sales. Here’s the thing – I’m really good at customer service. I’m good at listening, empathizing, smoothing things over, explaining, solving problems, helping people feel comfortable. These same qualities make me pretty bad at sales. (Whenever someone tells me they don’t want my product, I have the irrational urge to reassure them that it’s ok, and we’re still friends… this is not the mark of a natural saleswoman.)
So when I’m doing sales – commission sales – I’m not making much money. The money I do make, I’m having to put in even extra time for, including working on the weekend (when daycare isn’t open) so what should be a 40 hour week turns into much, much more than that. (Which is not counted as overtime, cuz commission.) When I don’t make much money, I also have to attend early morning sales meetings (also a daycare issue) for which, again, I’m not paid. The fact that I have the flexibility to adjust my hours like this is good. The fact that it’s necessary for me is not so good.
I’m also dealing with depression (finally got back on meds, yay!), and so getting rejection after rejection – and stressing that I’m not going to make the money I need – drains my energy something fierce, puts me in a perma-rotten mood, contributes to the slug-like feeling of “can’t do anything right, might as well sit here and do nothing and just hide” (which is, y’know, Not Good), and occasionally sends me into irrational sobbing fits. No bueno.
So to recap: I’m working 6 days a week from early in the morning to late at night, making it difficult to find childcare for my daughter (let alone spend time with her myself), doing work I actively dislike and which causes me emotional distress, for not enough money.
So, job search.
Today I had an interview. I was pretty excited about it. I’m good at interviews – generally speaking, once I get to the interview stage, if I want the job I can get it.
I did not want the job.
The company advertised the job as customer service, but it was sales. Direct sales. “Get into your car and drive to the store to convince the owner to buy your stuff” sales.
Worse, although it’s called Davis Marketing Concepts, it’s really a part of Cydcor. I worked for a Cydcor company once before, a group called Esquire Marketing, a job I like to refer to as “the single worst experience of my entire life.”
But! All is not lost. For as I was standing in the parking lot afterwards, I got a call from another company I’d applied to! The work is pure customer service, the industry is one I’m very familiar with, the hours are M-F and within my preferred times, the location is about a half hour away (as is pretty much any job, I’m afraid), and the company is rumored to be a very friendly place to work.
The downsides: it’s a temp position, 6 months only. (Which isn’t actually the end of the world; the temp agency it’s through is one I’ve worked with before, and they’re pretty good at taking care of people.) And the pay is less than I want.
Still. A steady paycheck, regular hours, and more time with my daughter? Not having to drop her off at oh-fuck-thirty in the morning and scramble for someone to watch her on Saturdays? I’ll take it.
Should hear back within a day or two. Here’s hoping.